I love the Sunday night sing off drama and can forgo the singing for the emotional highs and lows of the overly dramatic reactions to the voting results. And that’s just the judges.
I’ve always been tickled by the “very particular order” in which the safe acts are announced. It goes invariably like this…
- Normally the worst performer of the night. Start with a shock!
- A safe bet to restore the audience’s faith
- A sure-fire finalist hidden ambiguously in the middle of the voting
- The joke act
- Depending on how many acts are left there is often someone very plain and insipid at this point
And in the bottom 2 is normally (1) the person who sang first (2) someone who is due to go home
So let’s test out the theory with tonight’s announcements (22nd November)
Caroline: “In no particular order (“don’t make me laugh” said in voice of Danny Zuko), the first act returning next week is”….
- Worst performer: Lauren Murray. She looks like she’s won the pools. Not worst performer but certainly worst song choice and probably least votes. Who even likes Mariah Carey these days?
- Safe bet: 4th Impact. Yep, they look like they’ve been doing it for years.
- Finalist: Louisa. She should be getting the most votes if the ears of the British public are functioning properly. (I concede this is a dubious possibility but the theory is bearing fruit).
Wait for it…
At this point, you’re meant to think it’s the end of the line for Reggie and Bollie. We’ve had fun, but see you later.
The final act safely through to next week is…
- The joke act. Reggie and Bollie.. OMG. The theory works. Cue for Simon to roll his eyes and regret the four-person ovation for these vocal lightweights from Ghana who are admittedly extremely likeable. To be fair, I’d rather watch them party than Anton cry.
The person who sings first. Che Chesterman. This has been going on for years. X Factor were risking it very badly with Che putting him on first. Good job his mentor is Nick and not Cheryl otherwise she’d need a shot of beta blockers by this point.
Someone needing to go home. Anton was over-emotional after his performance and his outburst at Nick won’t have helped his cause. I wonder whether Anton has been watching back tapes of Alexandra Burke for tips on hyperventilating and crying incessantly.
The dreaded sing off
Will the judges see the writing on the wall and realise that they need to unanimously vote Che back in to restore credibility to the show, or will they back out like in previous weeks and take it to deadlock, which stems from issues of fearing the public a little and the media a lot?
The male mentors of course back their own acts. What a fine, impartial judging system.
It’s down to the girls to talk some sense. Will they even mention that Anton was out of tune?
Rita said there was no comparison and she was saving Che. Halleluia. Cheryl says it’s not personal and that she’s fallen in love with both of these acts over the past few weeks. Anton is going on to the tour so people will still see him: her heart is with Che. It’s goodbye to Anton.
Cheryl’s sparkling moment of common sense was a good way to end the show professionally. Well done, ladies. People tune in when justice is done. Rita & Cheryl just secured next week’s ratings.
Watch out for my cynical theories of the “no particular order” announcements and please feel free to add your own comments of your own about the X Factor. Who are you backing to win? Do you vote?