A breakdown of things which will ring very true if you love ASOS more than some family members. If we are honest, ASOS is a never ending search. A fashion-loving procrastinators idea of heaven. You know theres nothing you really need but a little look never hurt anyone.
So, whether you’re scrolling with a purpose or aimlessly searching for something you never knew you needed, ASOS is always the answer.
Firstly, why would you ever want to step foot into an actual shop again? Forget trying on clothes in changing rooms and standing in queues that stretch a mile long. Everything you could ever want is at your disposal, whilst simultaneously being tucked up in bed with a pot noodle. Within a 10 minute browse, I found the usual array of clothing, shoes and accessories followed by a ‘Cat Selfies’ book, an inflatable flamingo and a cheeseburger head mask. When I say everything, that isn’t an understatement by any means.
The “New In” Section.
The severity of your addiction can be determined by how often you find yourself flicking through this section. Justified because you haven’t seen it before. What if you’ve missed something which could be a perfect addition to your wardrobe. Better safe than sorry.
The ‘Saved’ Items.
You know you love it and you know you need it, but you can’t really afford it. At least not right now. Adding something to your saved items is an acknowledgement that you will refrain until payday. However the list will grow and grow. It will sit looking at you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear until you finally crack and move everything to your basket.
We have all been there. I mean, its free returns. Ordering everything in twos. Is this Noah’s Ark or an ASOS order? You can never be sure, but heaven forbid something didn’t fit.
Guilty of turning a relatively small order into a colossal one, just to get free delivery. Or if you’re a true addict, you will have bought the premier delivery where you pay £9.99 a year for unlimited next day delivery, which only adds fuel to the fire.
The horror of “Out of Stock”.
The gut wrenching feeling of falling in love with something and your size isn’t in stock. After a gruelling quest to find the perfect dress, scrolling until you’re honestly at a point where you feel like you’d recognise an ASOS model if you saw her in the street and suddenly there it is. The dress which makes your eyes light up. Everything you wanted, a dress which makes the stress and repetitive strain of scrolling worth while.
Do they have it in your size? Of course not. Typical ASOS. Why do bad things happen to good people? So you could either wait patiently, checking daily to see if it is back in stock, or optimistically get a smaller size and hope for the best. Unless its in the sale, and then you’re left questioning whether squeezing yourself into something 4 sizes too small is a tad extreme, or even possible. Challenge accepted.
Nothing will bring you greater happiness than that black and white bag will. Theres worse things to be addicted to, right?