We are now well into 2016, the New Year festivities have been long forgotten, January is now behind us and real life has taken over once again. Unfortunately one thing we can’t get away from every year is the repulsive thing that is February.
1The Weather is Horrific
We are just left in this awkward limbo between Winter and Spring, it sucks. My lips are blue and it sure as hell isn’t a new lipstick.
2WARNING: You Will Get Sick
Tough luck. February scientifically destroys your immune system and therefore your social life. It’s had 2015 previous years to back up its claim.
328 Days Are Still Far Too Many
If it’s the shortest month surely we don’t need it. If we shut our eyes will it just disappear? And this year is a leap year, so there’s an extra day!
4Does Anyone Actually Know How To Spell It?
Febuary… Febrary... Er… Feb. That’ll do. Honestly the amount of time I’ve spelt February wrong writing this is actually laughable. PRAISE THE LORD FOR AUTOCORRECT.
5There’s No Hiding That Christmas Chub
You’ve spent January saying you’re going to get fit this year, buying every possible piece of gym wear and a Fitbit but February is where action seriously needs to be taken. Those pounds you’ve put on over Christmas are coming back to haunt you and there isn’t the New Year to hide your carb addiction.
6It’s Expensive And Therefore Bad
Everyone is pretty broke after Christmas, plus the new gym membership you’ve subscribed to. But the sneakiest expense in February is having to pay extra rent for those two days less in a month. Rude.
7Valentine’s Day, Blergh
This is the one thing February has to offer and guess what, we still don’t want it. If you’re in a relationship why do you have to forcibly show love to a partner for the commercial gains of Hallmark? And if you’re single, you don’t have enough money for rent let alone for six pints of Ben and Jerrys.
8Worst of All There Is Still March To Come
Literally the worst thing about February is that we still have another absolutely pointlessly freezing month heading straight our way. Lucky us.